when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
