Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
