Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
