told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
