I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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