Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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