I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
