Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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