Plan B is the new Plan A
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
