I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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