u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
