see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
