omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
