This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
