My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
