She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
