haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
