I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
