oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
