I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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