She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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