I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
