He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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