so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You can't motorboat a personality
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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