Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
