If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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