I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
