I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I believe in your delicious
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
