Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No I am not eating basil off your cock
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
