I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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