I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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