I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
