Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
