it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
what day is it and did you see me today?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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