So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
