its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
