the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
