Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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