i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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