every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
A+ Viking dick
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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