happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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