Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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