i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
