i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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