i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
