Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
