I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
