I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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