if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
