My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
