so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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