so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
